Chapter 2

I knew Joy wanted me to appease Vivian. It didn't matter. For money, I'd do anything. Vivian, nestled in Joy's arms, flashed me a secretive smile. Looking at the cut on her leg, I picked up a shard of glass and slashed it deeply across my own skin. Then, holding out my bloodied hand, I said calmly to Joy, 'Give it to me. The two hundred thousand." Joy stared at me, his eyes suddenly rimmed with red. Seeing Joy's expression, Vivian's smile faltered. She pulled out a bank card and placed it in my palm, her voice soft and condescending: 'Claire, I'm giving you this money today. Not because I owe you anything. But because I don't want to end up like you, making such a pathetic spectacle over a little cash." Too weary to watch her perform her false nobility, I took the money and turned to leave. But Joy grabbed my arm. He shouted my name, his teeth clenched as he cursed me: 'Claire! Goddammit, doesn't that hurt? Will you die without money?" The tight furrow in his brow almost looked like pain – pain for me. I wrenched my arm free with all my strength. Turning back, I sneered, 'I've always been a money-hungry woman, Joy Astor. Didn't you know that?" 'Mind your own business. And mind your woman. Don't come near me again." Joy Astor stared at me, his gaze terrifyingly cold, as if he wanted to devour me whole. My words must have dredged up the past – how he gave up everything for me, only for me to abandon him brutally for money. The pain in my gut was excruciating. I didn't want to argue further. I turned to walk away, but suddenly my feet left the ground. The next second, Joy had thrown me over his shoulder. He carried me out of the private room like a bandit kidnapping a woman, a cigarette dangling from his lips. Everyone stared. I struggled desperately, demanding he put me down. He slapped my backside sharply and growled, 'Claire, what cosmic debt did I owe you in a past life to deserve this torment?" He threw me into his car, leaned over to pin my legs, gripped my face, and snarled viciously, 'Sometimes, I really want to kill you." His expression screamed hatred, yet his eyes… they always seemed to whisper that he still loved me. My stomach hurt too much to speak. Sweat beaded on my forehead as I glared at him. Joy frowned. He opened the car's glove compartment, pulled out a stomach pill, and shoved it into my mouth. In the corner of the compartment, I saw the lipstick I'd used up but couldn't bear to throw away, the broken hair tie, the childish pink hair clip Joy had once bought me… It held fragments of me. All those years I was gone, these things had kept him company. Tears sprang to my eyes. I turned away before he could see, roughly wiping them off with my hand. After all these years, he still remembered my weak stomach. Even without me there, he'd kept the habit of carrying medicine for my pain. And I… I had hardened my heart, mustering all my strength to shove him away. I forced a smile onto my face. 'Joy Astor," I said, laughing coldly, 'stop pestering me, okay? The way you cling is disgusting." 'You probably don't know… I'm already married. I have a child…" 'Did you think we could pick up the pieces? Joy Astor, don't be pathetic." My shove sent him stumbling back a couple of steps. He froze. As I moved to leave, his hand shot out. He slammed me back against the car, gripping my throat. His voice shook as he hissed, 'Claire, I don't believe you." 'You'd better tell me this is a fucking joke. Otherwise, I will kill you." I met his gaze steadily. 'Fine. I'll prove it." I took Joy to the children's hospital. It was 9 PM; the lights in the ward were still on. I stood outside a room, pointing through the glass at a child quietly reading inside. 'That," I told Joy, 'is my kid." His name was Theo. He was the precious apple of my eye. He looked like me, but his personality was pure Joy Astor – thoughtful, gentle, yet a little bossy, with a stubborn glint always in his eyes. He'd inherited all of Joy's best qualities. He was such a wonderful little boy. But he was sick. A child about to turn six, painfully thin and small, yet heartbreakingly well-behaved. Joy Astor stared at the child for a long, long time. Then he clenched his fist and smashed it hard against the wall. He lowered his head. I thought I saw a tear fall. I'd never seen him look so utterly broken. The last thing Joy said to me that night was: 'Claire, you've got guts." He didn't ask who the father was. He didn't recognize the child as his own. After that, Joy Astor never came to see me again. I only heard he'd bought Vivian a lavish wedding gown and an expensive diamond ring, and taken her home to meet his mother. I heard his mother adored Vivian, and Joy Astor declared he would marry no one else. Classmates gossiped: 'I'm so envious of Miss Vivian. To be cherished like a treasure by a man like Boss Astor." 'But Miss Vivian is a good woman herself, gentle and magnanimous. She heard Claire's struggling financially now and even wanted to give her some money to help." 'A kind woman like that deserves to be protected her whole life." Reading the messages in the class group chat, my heart lurched. A terrible premonition washed over me. It wasn't until I arrived at the hospital that a nurse told me Joy and Vivian had visited Theo. The young nurse apologized. She'd accidentally told Vivian that Theo didn't have a father. I heard Vivian had asked Theo: 'Sweetie, I heard your daddy abandoned you and your mommy, is that true?" 'You know, your mommy is very pitiful. To pay for your treatment, she drinks with all sorts of men every day. It's filthy. Honestly, it's no wonder your daddy didn't want a woman like that." Theo yelled at her: 'You're lying! You're filthy! My mommy and I don't want your money! Get out!" Trembling with rage, I charged into the room. Vivian turned, saw me, and frowned. 'Claire, look at your child! I was just trying to make him understand how hard you work, and he yelled at me! So ungrateful." Before Vivian could finish, I grabbed her hair. I slapped her hard, twice, then dragged her to the door and shoved her into the hallway. I jabbed a finger in her face. 'Vivian, you just can't fucking leave me alone, can you?" She clutched her cheek, stunned that I'd dared to hit her. Feigning innocence, she choked out, 'Claire, I only wanted to help you. I meant no harm." 'Joy didn't even want to get involved. Luckily, he listens to me. He knows I'm kindhearted; I'd feel guilty if we didn't help." 'I truly wanted to help, but now that you've hit me… Joy will surely be angry with you again…" I looked at Vivian and laughed coldly. So, she'd come to flaunt. She couldn't resist making sure I knew how much more Joy loved her than he ever loved me. Seeing her ridiculous act, I said icily, 'Vivian, you want Joy Astor? He's just a man. I gave him to you. But you're not satisfied, are you? You just have to provoke me." Then I grabbed her collar, pulling her close, and hissed, 'If you've got the nerve, keep testing me. I'll gladly wish you and Joy Astor a happy wedding. And while I'm at it, I'll tell him the child I gave birth to… is his." 'Guess what he'll do with you then?" Vivian froze. I watched the color drain from her face. Through gritted teeth, I ordered, 'Now, you will apologize to my son. Then, get the hell out." The words were barely out of my mouth when Joy Astor opened the ward door and stepped out. He seized my arm and yanked me away. I lost my balance, my back slamming hard against the wall. He looked down at me, a cold smile playing on his lips. 'Claire," he asked mockingly, 'since when do I need your permission to decide which woman I marry?" 'My wife marrying me… needs you to ‘give' her to me? What the hell do you think you are?" My back hit the wall with a painful thud. Theo must have heard. He ran out barefoot, planting himself in front of me, glaring up at Joy, shielding me. Joy looked down at him and laughed, a chilling, dismissive sound. 'You," he said coldly, 'are just as detestable as your mother." I watched Theo's eyes well up. Those words must have shattered his heart. Tucked under his pillow was a photo of Joy. He had always known Joy Astor was his father. On all those agonizing nights after he got sick, lying in my arms as he fell asleep, he dreamt of his father coming home.