Chapter 80

Felicity's POV "W-why?" Elyana asked me when I suddenly grabbed her by the hand, but how could I answer that question if I also didn't know why? My eyes went to our hands and up to her confused eyes. However, I saw more than that emotion in it. There was longing. Her warm palm, which I caught, was sending a signal into my brain. I wanted to feel disgusted by it, but my brain couldn't give me that emotion right at that time. 'What's wrong with me? ' I thought. I wanted to let go of her hand, but my hand held her tighter. I knew that wasn't me anymore. It was the side I had been trying to kill for so long that I was tempted to get out of the tie I had put on him before. "Y-you don't need to go back to your room," I told her. My voice sounds strained. I felt Elyana pull her hand away from mine. I could still see the strong desire brewing inside her, but not until she looked away. "I-I have something to do. I don't think you need to see it." "It's okay," I insisted, surprising both of us. She looked back at me again, this time with a deep frown on her forehead. I knew how much confusion I was giving her at that time, but it was not different from how confused I was with myself. Deep down inside me, I wanted to help her. I wouldn't let anything happen to our child. "W-Why? I mean, you're..." It seemed she already saw I was serious. "I said it's okay. You can come back to the guest room with me," I uttered without waiting for Elyana to finish her sentence. "O-okay," she finally got convinced. "But let me go to the restroom first," she added. I got alarmed, but I didn't know why. "N-No!" I exclaimed. I wanted to slap my mouth at this time. It appeared that my brain was no longer reciprocating my emotions. Elyana's eyes grew larger. She maintained her eye contact with me. "I don't understand you anymore. What do you even mean by that?" she asked. I closed my eyes and thought of the best and most direct response. I kept repeating in my head that I wanted to help her and with my shrill voice, these were the words that came out, "You can use me." It sounded unappealing, but who cares? It was only the two of us—-no audience. Even if she slapped me or kicked me, no one would witness. I opened my eyes and I saw with my two eyes how she reacted. Her jaw almost dropped and her eyes nearly popped. I could see it in her eyes. She didn't laugh but I could tell how much she wanted to laugh when I told her that. I swallowed my pride over that. I was hoping to help him with his odd craving, but my goodness! I felt an extreme embarrassment. If only the floor could swallow me at that time, I wouldn't fight. That was the only time I felt that kind of shame in my whole life, making me question myself about whether I sounded like a pervert or what, but wait, Elyana made me feel worse. "I don't think I still need it right now," she said. I could still sense how shocked she was. I couldn't believe her answer. I didn't know if I should be happy or disappointed because it seemed like my effort was wasted and worse, my image became bad. "D-did the mood change?" I asked, just to lessen the awkwardness at that time. She slightly nodded while biting her lower lip. She avoided my gaze and that was the only time I completely let go of her. "Haha!' I couldn't help but laugh that awkwardly when I was not even supposed to. "I-I can't believe that was effective!" I again chuckled. Awkward—it was insanely awkward that all I wanted was to escape. "Y-Yeah, that helped. T-thank you," she said and just like me, she was stuttering too. "W-Well, I'm glad it did." Silence walked between us right after I told her this, yet she broke the silence. "I'll go to my room," she said. I knew this was just an excuse but I didn't say anything else and let her go. I was praying she would not turn around because my feet seemed to be stuck to the floor. I never imagined I would find myself in such an awkward situation. However, the most difficult part was the fact that I got rejected. It may sound crazy, but I felt I would let her use me. For the sake of the child and their safety. Although I didn't know how I would perform once she agreed, that rejection gave me the thought that it was better if she disagreed. When I returned to the guest room, my mind remained foggy. I somewhat regret what I told her because my ego got hurt big time. 'But what if she agreed? What will I do? I never tried sleeping with a woman in my life.' I thought and my mind started imagining things and putting me in that particular scene. My heart was racing at this point and as I lay my back on the bed, my pajama pants felt tight. I immediately laid myself flat on the bed to press it, burying my face on the pillow as I closed both my fists. I tried to relax by erasing those thoughts. I had no idea how long it took, but I could feel my eyes closing. I eventually fell asleep, and when I opened my eyes, I could see the sun shining through the windows. I sat down on the bed and checked the time. It was fairly early. I completed my morning routine and went downstairs, nervous. I was silently praying that Elyana was still sleeping because I didn't know how I would be facing her, but to my surprise, I saw her in the dining area, enjoying her breakfast. "G-good morning!" I awkwardly greeted everyone. Two servants were there in the dining area and they greeted me back while Elyana didn't say anything. The breakfast was served and an empty plate was already waiting for me on the side of the table where I mostly sit. Elyana turned her head towards me. When our eyes met, I was forced to greet her, "Good morning!" "Morning," she replied in a whisper. The good was missing. I understood why anyway, but I got skeptical about why she was early and she was well-dressed that morning. It seemed she was about to go somewhere and I just couldn't let her go by herself. "Why do you seem so early today? Where are you going?" I asked. "I'm going to see my doctor today," she replied without looking at me. She put down her fork and spoon and wiped her mouth with a table napkin. "I'm going to the mall after my check-up. I'm just going to buy something for the nursery," she later added, even though she knew I would stop her because Chelsea advised her not to tire herself. "Is there anything missing there? The room is almost full and there's no more space available," I said and I started putting food on my plate. "I will look for another dresser. There are too many clothes I ordered and the large one is already full. Maybe something that can be attached to the wall to save space," she expressed. "You know you should not get tired, right? I will just buy it, and I will take pictures so you can choose which one you like," I offered. I made sure my voice was calm enough so she did not think I was nagging her. She had become too sensitive lately and raising her voice a little would immediately make her shed some tears. "No, it is fine. I will not get tired; we will only be there for a while. I'm with Daldalita and Mona," she insisted. Daldalita was one of the servants in the dining area at that time. I gave her a stare and she smiled brightly at me to show she would make sure Elyana would be safe. I didn't say anything anymore. I let her do what she wanted to do, but I still need to talk to the two servants before they go. Just in time, because Elyana had already finished eating and was about to return to her room. I immediately called the two servants and gave them instructions. They promised to follow my instructions and that put enough ease into my brain. After finishing my meal, I went to my office, just as Elyana was about to leave. I was thankful because it seemed Elyana was no longer affected by what happened. Because of that, I expected the day would be awesome, but when it was around ten in the morning, I received a call from Elyana's driver saying they were in the hospital. I left everything in the office. My heart was pounding loudly while on the road. I rushed to get there and saw her lying on the bed. "W-what happened to you?" I asked her. She couldn't say a word, but because she was crying and holding her stomach, I knew she was in serious pain. I wanted to scold her—them, but I realized it was also my fault because I allowed her to go. I turned to the servants instead and asked them the details and that was when I learned they were already returning home when Elyana told them she wasn't feeling well. Chelsea has arrived. "Could I speak with you for a minute?" she asked. She no longer waited for my answer. She walked away right away, leaving me with no choice but to follow. She stopped when we were already away from where we left Elyana. "We have a problem," she announced as she turned to face me. I was immediately consumed with nervousness. I knew it was serious because of the way she looked at me and when I heard about the news, my knees trembled.